Time for Peace
by NathanielRose
Summary: If Finny survived the surgery...finnyxgene eventually. I don't own characters, places, blah blah blah...


**Ahh! It's been awhile since I've done this, but school has gotten INTENSE! **

**Anyway, I love this book and so it's time for a little different fanfic: If Finny had survived the surgery and him and Gene were still friends but walking a really fine line, this close to falling apart, would they still risk love? Or would they continue with the friendship that was meant to be more but just can't because of what happened. **

**Yeah, I think that Gene and Finny would've gotten together if Finny had lived. But I also think it would've taken a while. They wouldn't have taken one look at each other and fallen head over heels. It would've been hard. So this is what I think would've happened had Finny lived:**

**Time For Peace: Ch. 1 (BTW, I'm covering about a month in this chapter, because I need to get to Gene and Finny on speaking terms again.)**

I run down the halls of Devon, preparing myself for the worst. I mean, all the teachers today so far have had the same sad, defeated look on their faces. Something's happened. And I know that it has to do with the surgery.

I turn the corner to the medical wing, and almost run face first into Brownie. I stop in my tracks, leaving a scuffmark on the recently polished flooring.

"Hey," I say, "You just see Finny?"

"Depends on what you mean by see..." he tells me, his ginormous brown eyes lifeless.

"What do you mean?" I say, starting to panic. I feel my heart speeding up, "Is he dead?"

Brownie shakes his head slowly, "No." He says, "Yes. Depends on what you mean by dead. He's different. It's heartbreaking."

I blink. And then I push Brownie out of the way and continue down the hall, slower this time. Brownie's words still haunted me. Finny couldn't be different. He's gonna be the same. His attitude wouldn't change. He's Finny!

I walk up to his door and hear nothing behind it. I knock quietly, and about five seconds later it is opened by a doctor. He has that official, emotionless look on his face doctor's always do. He isn't giving anything away.

"Can I see him?" I ask.

The doctor glances back into the room and then at me, "He's not taking visitors."

"But I just saw Brownie!" I protest. "He was let in. Just tell Finny it's me, Gene."

The doctor sighs, and then says, "Alright, but if you upset him, you'll have to leave."

I push past him and go into the room. Finny is lying on a hospital bed, his leg suspended on some pillows in a cast. I walk up to him slowly, turning only once when I hear the door close shut.

"Finny," I say once quietly. He opens his eyes, and I watch him focus them on me. I can tell he's not going to say anything so I continue. "I umm…I'm sorry for everything. And I think that you really are the most amazing person here and I could totally beat myself up for what I did. And I will if you want me to."

Finny blinks and opens his mouth, "Do it."

I look down from his gaze and feel my eyes tear. I blink five times and then search my pockets. I have a pen and a pocketknife that I was going to use for homework, but I guess it can serve another purpose. I put the pen back into my pocket and slide open the razor sharp blade.

I meet his gaze again as I place it at the inside fold of my elbow. I press down slightly, just until I feel the blade break skin. I glance down to see a tiny drop of blood forming around the tip. I fall to my knees and crawl closer, so he can see.

My heart is breaking by the second.

I see him swallow, "Not there," he whispers, "You'll slice every vein open."

I slowly drag the knife down my arm to my open palm. I don't hesitate this time. I plunge the blade into my skin, and close my fist around it, stinging, burning pain growing worse by the second. But it still can't disguise the pain of my breaking heart.

I meet his eyes again, and stare at him until he breaks my gaze. "Stop."

I do. I pull the now blood covered blade out of my palm, and grab a handful of tissues from the box beside his bed. I wipe off the knife first and then ball up about twenty tissues and grasp them tightly in my hand, trying to soak up the quickly appearing blood that's pouring out of the cut.

"Get your arm," Finny says, closing his eyes again, no emotion in his voice. Meanwhile, I am finishing wiping up the blood from my elbow. When I'm all clean I tell him, "I'd do anything for you to trust me again. Believe me."

And then I throw the tissues away and leave the knife on the floor of his room as I leave.

---10:00 PM

I lie face down on my bed, talking aloud to God. "Heya," I say, "Long time no talking, right? I'm sorry for that; I've um...been a little busy." I blink. "I think, umm, I think I'm missing something. I don't know what it is…you think you can help?"

I lie in silence for a few seconds, as if the question was sinking in. "And," I say, "I messed up with Finny today. I probably shouldn't've actually…" I glance at my arm, the thin red line scabbing over, "You know. You know everything."

"I guess…" I say, feeling sleep start to take me over, "I guess that I'm just asking for help that's all. My life is messed up. Thanks. Amen."

I dream that I'm falling. I dream that it doesn't stop.

--1 Week Later

I am sitting in English writing a ridiculous paper on whatever today's free writing topic is, when I hear clicking noises on the ground outside the classroom and then a voice I'd both been anticipating and dreading for the last six days.

"Sorry I'm late…" Finny grunts and I force myself to keep my eyes on my paper as I hear him make his way to his desk next to mine that he's sat in for the past year. I hear the chair legs scratch the floor and him let out a breath as he struggles getting into his seat. I continue to write as if he wasn't there.

I continue to write until I start to feel real uncomfortable. I glance over at Finny only to see that he's staring at my arm. The one that has a thin red line down the arm and scabs on my palm and elbow. He glances at my eyes and I quickly look away really uncomfortably. I know that he saw me looking at him. I don't know why that makes me so nervous.

I risk another glance at him, and he's still looking at me, and so I refuse to let myself look away. We stare at each other for about ten seconds until the bell rings signaling the end of today's classes. I slowly gather my stuff and put it in my folders, and stand to leave.

Finny has managed to stand up , but he's having issues with holding his book. I ask, "You still rooming with me?"

He looks up, glares at me, "They wouldn't let me change."

"Okaaay…" I say, "You need any help?"

He glares at me even more, and I realize we're the only two left in the room. The teacher must've been in a hurry to get out of here. Finny all but chucks his textbook at my head, "I wouldn't if you hadn't pushed me out of the f****** tree!"

I balance his book with mine, trying to ignore the aching spot on my side where his book had hit me. He blinks once, swallows, and then turns away and starts hopping with his crutches. I sqeeze my eyes shut, count to three, and follow him.


End file.
